Tuesday, 30 August 2016

The green, green grass of home

A week ago I made the impulsive decision to go back home for a few days. I had originally planned on going home mid-September, for my Dad's birthday, and I was a little apprehensive about going back so soon. It had, after all, only been a little over two weeks and it felt like I hadn't given myself enough time to settle in. But with my housemates all gone, the prospect of being alone in the flat for two whole weeks seeming rather daunting and no interviews lined up for that week, I impetuously bought a bus ticket and by late Tuesday morning I was back in Gloucestershire.

I felt like I'd been in London a lot longer that two weeks - more like two months - but when the bus pulled into Gloucester station, a rush of nostalgia and familiarity washed over me and it just felt - right. It felt like I'd never been away. It felt like home.

I was lucky enough to come back on a day that Mum babysits my niece Indie, so I spent a good chunk of the day playing with her. I love being an auntie! It was a little strange to be home at first. My bedroom had been redecorated, re-arranged and christened the 'spare room' - that was a wake up call that I no longer lived there! It was a beautiful sunny day so I kicked off my shoes and headed out to the garden which was bursting with colour and foliage. Living in a flat means lack of a garden and while there are parks, there's nothing quite like eating lunch outside in your own space. My eldest brother Pete and his girlfriend were around too so we all had an impromptu barbecue the first night.

Our apple tree was laden and the bushes were starting to produce blackberries and even though it is still summer all I could think about was baking, country walks and cosy autumn evenings. The Great British Bake Off started on Wednesday too, which fueled my desire to make cakes and all sorts of seasonal goodies.

The best thing about being at home is the little luxuries you don't get when you're a broke twenty-something living as frugally as possible. A well stocked fridge. A hot bath. Sky tv. Sofas that are somehow that little bit more comfortable. I haven't been sleeping too well in my new bed so I slept like a baby back in my old one, single bed though it was.

I spent the next day hanging out with my friend Michelle which was a complete joy. I'd started feeling a little bit doubtful and apprehensive about my move to London and Michelle gave me some wise, much-needed perspective on the matter. I unfortunately didn't get to hang out with too many other friends because it was such a last-minute and quick visit but I did get to see my friend Beth on the last evening. Much of my time was just spent hanging out with family (and my cat).

It's funny how your hometown goes from dull to interesting when you miss it. Something in me just needed to go and take a picture of the beautiful cathedral and have tea and cake in the adorable Comfy Pew tearoom.

Going home felt so safe, so comfortable but it also made me realise that I came out to London for a reason. It would have been easy to continue my life back in Gloucester which was, admittedly, pretty good. But I needed a change of scenery, I needed to experience the big city for a while. Things generally don't happen in life unless you want them to. Whether that means physically moving away or just being ready for different opportunities that come your way, you have to be open to change or you'll stay stuck where you are.

So while job hunting is tough and constant rejection is even tougher, I came back to London with a fresh perspective. This is right, this is good and I will make it.

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